I stand before you a shadow of my intended self,
Fallen from the heights I was made to inhabit
Delve into my psyche and you'll find what's likely
Echoes that have faded slightly
Of that garden where true life must be
I called it home
Now forced to roam, a vagrant
Covered in the scent of death, I mask it with cologne, your favourite,
Asking where the days went?
I pace the pavement and swim through seas of faces
Brushing past, but never trying to meet their gazes,
Instead I wear a facade, proceed to trod through barren lands
Hoping to escape the face of God, hide my shame behind my hands,
To face the light, bring my true self to sight,
Being exposed to your vision would put even mothers to flight
Crave for connection, but upon introspection,
I doubt the real me would could ever gain your affection,
I keep it hidden, keep my secrets sinning,
Crave relationship but making objects out of women,
Seems like I'm locked out of my dreams, I'm spinning.
Chorus
I'm glued up but you still see the cracks,
The years were taken,
But he's giving them back,
All that I am was broken and shattered,
He took what I had and told me I mattered.
Verse 2
Submerged to death emerged to eternal life,
This foetus called out from the water,
Second birth from paradise,
Beginning knitted in the womb
Bread of life consumed
Vine shared in the upper room
Won't find me in the tomb
I was a broken vessel
No horror story
But still had to wrestle
I give him glory I ain't nothing special
In fact my heart is rebel
Let my guard down its flirting with the devil
But he meets in my dreams- it's Bethel
I'm nestled in him grip,
And he won't let me go no matter if and when I slip,
You see its not mine but his onus
He lived the life that I should have lived, so salvation's a free bonus,
I came to the end of myself,
The end of my efforts the end of my strength
And instead of giving up I gave it up
and now on Jesus' strength I bank,
I'm Ranked among the heirs
This broken jar of clay repaired
An ex-Tare, sorted with the wheat I'm spared.
Verse 3
Heartfelt,
For all those times I knelt and cried out to Yaweh,
So many times I did it my way,
Few times I learned the hard way,
wish i could say it was a bad upbringing,
But truth is I'm the only one to blame for my sinning
One day ya check me grinning next minute I'm down spinning
Deeper into pride, blinder by the stride,
Thank God he never let me hide too long,
Conscience was seared and heart was pronged,
Holy spirit wronged, grieved,
By my actions, stubbornness and greed
But he maintained the seed,
Brought to my knees and sent his breath to lead,
And as I look in retrospective,
I get perspective,
And realise that God in his mercy
Was still protective,
Where a situation coulda been dire,
From the other side of the fire
I see his hand in what transpired
The lessons are part of my composition
If I only woulda listened,
But the good side is that I came away with wisdom.
credits
from Wish It Were True E.P,
released January 25, 2014
Written by Ian Martin, 2014
Recorded and Mixed by Ian Martin, 2014
Produced by Ian 'Neuma' Martin, 2013
Songwriter and producer CRFT celebrates his spirituality and family on this thoughtful debut LP, featuring Blu, nobigdyl, and more. Bandcamp New & Notable May 10, 2022
